Anger, Jealousy, Bitterness, Tiredness, Hope, Lust, Love.
“There’s a bus coming. Tony doesn’t see it. He’s distracted. It hits him, runs him over. He’s in the gutter and he’s bleeding. He looks dead.”
What are you thinking about?
What about him?
“The moment I saw you, I knew it’d be the closest thing I’d get to being… close. I didn’t know what to do with that feeling, happiness. […] But they know now! And they’re hungry, really fucking hungry. Because for as long as I’ve known, they’ve been chasing me and now they’re ready, now they’re strong enough to break through. And I can’t fight them. I use to be able to when I was strong, but… you’ve made me weak. And now I can’t.”
for as long as I’ve known, they’ve been chasing me
For her whole life she had those issues (“demons”) and tried to hold them back by running away from love, from feelings, from her true self. Freddie broke through her defences and she let herself open up to him, love him, experience all the feelings she tried to run away from - and it broke her eventually because it was too much to handle. Because she didn’t know how to deal with those feelings, how to control them, how to keep holding back her “demons” now that the walls were gone. Effy was sick, never healthy, always broken. Freddie had no idea what kind of issues she had when he fell in love with her. And yet he was the one to do everything to protect her while others were standing aside watching her burn.
“You ever going to let that smile falter?”
if this was us meeting for the first time, i’d do it all again.
everything. the fucks, the fuck ups, everything.